🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

Tomorrow is our daughter's 28th birthday. I was sitting here watching the Irwins (Crocodile Hunters family) and just crying through the entire episode because it was the episode where Bindi had her baby. It showed a lot of episodes where Steve became a Dad but, they were talking about how he would be such a great grandfather and how he is with them in spirit and it really hit me that my husband is not going to be here and that's what happened to me. Between me constantly falling, trying to raise my son and fighting social security I am exhausted and can't find the strength to get my other things that I need to get done in my house. I am just tired of trying and not getting it done. 

I was just thinking about that exact thing about my husband. I was in labor for 3 days with both my kids. My daughter's birthday is tomorrow. I remember that her Dad stayed with me the entire time and he was a huge support for me. I also remember the joy on his face when she was born and how proud he was. I am trying to keep that as my best memory other than our wedding day. 

Thank you Nicole. How are you doing? 

My sweet husband died after a difficult surgery November 6th. I don't know how to live in this big house alone, it's so quiet. The upkeep is alot. Every room has a memory and story and shared items. I feel so heavy, my arms and legs. So **bleep** sad. I worry about money, still waiting for an attorney to do thier part (filing with courts) so I can fulfil my duty set forth in his living will. I'm just damned frightened and so so sad. I suppose this isn't one challenge. It's a challenge to just be me right now...   

NO NO NO I do not do ZUMBA!  I would be laying flat on the floor, gasping for breath.😂  I do Stretching Exercises, Strength Exercises, Balance Exercises.  However, with the leg pain I have had to stop all of them till I find out what I am dealing with.  I see the doctor on December 21st. The exercises I do are provided on line through my insurance; it is called Silver Sneakers.

FYI - Grief Works offers free webinars every couple of weeks on Zoom. The next one is Dec. 6th at 1:00 ET and the topic is Navigating the Holidays.

Marcy

Bill, I truly understand.  I have designed and ordered my husband's grave stone.  He is near my son. My son's wife has yet to order a stone for his grave even though I offered to pay for it.  It seems like this is my attempt to "honor" them.  I know he (and my son) are really in my heart and mind and will go with me to Idaho when I move, however, I will continue to have flowers put on both graves in my absence.  I agree, this year has been a blur with my taking One Step At a Time and praying that I am doing all the right things.  I am sure your wife is smiling down at you, proud of all the decisions that you have made.

In preparing my home to be sold I thought perhaps I would remodel the master bathroom.  I discovered that for JUST the shower and floor to be re-tiled AND NOTHING ELSE they wanted $21,000!!!!  (California prices). It is not a huge bathroom.  Knowing that homes in my neighborhood have been remodeled and sold and then TORN DOWN only to be remodeled again, I decided I am not going through the expense or bother to have this done.  I willl allow the new owners to do it and if that means I have to lower the price a little, so be it.  I should be interviewing realtors soon and plan to put my home on the market in late December/January.  I am anxious because homes sell at the first open house around here and I have medical appointments through 1/9 to complete and resolve.  The timing is critical and it makes me nervous.  I have "peace of mind" in my decision to move as my son will relocate with me to his new home, I have my brother and his wife there, along with a grandson and I will be leaving a place where people are being killed at the local McDonalds and mall. Nicole, I admire the fact that you picked up your life and moved to Florida to be near your daughter.  When we get older these decisions become harder to make.